I didn't really understand why people got quite so excited when I had my first baby. I got cards and gifts from people I hadn't seen in years, from neighbours of relatives, from parents of friends and from people I'd never met. There were flowers, baby clothes, cuddly toys, cheques, toys, ornaments and rather obscurely, a knitted Scottish bagpipe player from somebody in New Zealand. I was overwhelmed by the generosity of people keen to share in the joy of the birth of our first child.
Maybe they were relieved that, at my advanced years, I had finally produced a baby. Get to your mid to late thirties and people start wondering if there are fertility issues or maybe, God Forbid, you don't want kids. We all know the kind of aspersions cast on women who choose not to have children.
I'm certainly not sure that all the well wishers surfaced to celebrate new life as such. My consequent pregnancy and baby were met with much less fuss and excitement. Rather perhaps, people wanted to celebrate the birth of our first child. They were marking the occasion of us becoming parents.
My oldest friend gave birth to her first child yesterday, a girl. She texted me late last night to tell me that her baby was fast asleep on her chest. I was elated. While she was probably in a state of amazement, shock and postpartum discomfort, I was skipping around with joy at the news of the safe arrival of her baby. Forget the fact that she was probably feeling like a leaking, hormonal, exhausted mess who was as much bewildered as mesmerised by the little person laying on her.
Becoming a parent is an irrevocably, life-changing event that gives us unprecedented worries, vulnerabilities and responsibilities, but also gives an unparalleled experience of love. Maybe that's why people go overboard when a first born arrives.
And yep, I'm joining them in going overboard. I've spent the day grinning ear to ear and frivolously shopping for gifts. I even briefly thought about cooking some hearty casserole or something to drop off sometime next week. Decided against that, considering that the new parents could probably do without a bout of listeria.
Stop me before I start attempting to knit something!
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